May. Spring showers, moderate temperatures and the return of flora and fauna. Not really much to complain about for one who has taken the Red. Perfect weather for a hooded sweatshirt, and not quite hot enough to be forced to look at Hobbit feet proudly displayed in a pair of sandals. Ideal for a runner, a cyclist and a dog walker; what outdoor enthusiast other than the snow crowd doesn’t welcome Spring? Days filled with Ginger Sunshine; cloudy skies, mild precipitation, cooling winds, temperatures in the 13 degree Celsius range and little visible sunshine. If I can’t live in Scotland where this weather carries on for much of the year, at least I get to experience similar conditions each Spring. I love me some Spring, second only to Fall.
As I look to the forecast of this weeks end, I see that the four horsemen of the apocalypse ride on hard towards us. The weather futurists have declared that May 8 will bring us a humidex of 33 degrees Celsius. I am almost ready to concede defeat. Too early to raise the white flag, I will not go down without a fight. One last battle, one last line in the sand drawn, a final declaration of war. I can only hope for an ending unlike those of the past, as I have not yet been able to wield a weapon mighty enough to alter the course of the weather. Although, I am not without trying. Rain dances, prayers of cold, that time I ran naked through the quad and into the gymnasium; all temporary solutions that offered varying degrees of success. In the end, the Yellow Demon continues to defeat me; forcing me to retreat into the shadows, beneath the ground far beyond its reach. My collection of armor grows in the form of clothing designed to block the sun, but little exists to actually shield me from the heat. When I have no choice but to enter the sweaty hell of the open world, it is no longer enough for me to lay a thick coat of sunscreen on my alabaster skin; I have begun to add it to my diet to ensure I am fully protected. I do make a pretty mean sunscreen smoothie, if I may say so myself.
We had a good run this year, but sadly it has been short lived. I will remember that week of Spring like it was yesterday, when it fact in was 3 days ago. With a little luck, in 5 months time we will see Fall. With even more luck, it actually last more than a week before Winter breaks. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of Winter but I love Fall; I live knowing that each passing day brings me closer to Fall. Cool nights, warm days, the sun slowly retreating in the sky; it doesn’t get any better. And yes, I’d take -40 over +40 Celsius any day; I can dress warm…I can’t dress cold.
While the rest of you cook your brains in the sun, I will be deep underground, much like the Dwarves of Khazad-dûm; trying to convince my wife that we really should move to Scotland. The dog is already on board and the cat can be convinced to see things my way, without the need for him waking up in his box with a severed horse head at his side. See you all in the Fall… if we ever have one.