The Bag Lady

That bag I refer to is a weather beaten, sun dried old purse. Please ladies, enough with the tanning. Sure, there are dudes who could fall under this category but for the most part it really is the ladies that have this impression that they need to run to the tanning bed every day to maintain their glow.

False. What you are maintaining is you looking like a burnt friggin’ pogo. Some of you are fortunate enough to take on the look of a pumpkin and with Halloween just around the corner you could draw some triangle eyes and a peg tooth mouth and go out as Mrs. Pumpkin. Either that or you could write “Rawlings” on your forehead and go as an old catchers mitt.

If I haven’t made myself clear, other then putting yourself at risk for skin cancer, you look ridiculous. You do not look healthy and in 30 years you are going to look like Tara Reid’s botched stomach job.

Enough ladies, you are all beautiful creatures what with the boobies, soft skin and the lack of hair and penises. There is no need to fry yourself up like a piece of bacon.

Cheers,

Scott

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