Ben Dover

Today’s busted nuts have been brought to you in part by Veterinarians and Wedding Shows. Let me clarify first that I do not wish to paint all vets and wedding shows with the same brush or mold them all with the same clay; pardon the miscellaneous art references, I’m at work eyeballing a glue stick and wondering what purpose it has actually being in my desk. Some of them do however share similar modus operandi; “Mo’ Money! Mo’ Money! Mo’ Money!

Let’s start with yesterdays vet visit. My little dumpling Ella was clearly having some health issues; blood and fluids coming out of her hoo-hoo shan’t be good. A vulnerable and scary time for any pet lover; this is where a cooler head must be maintained. After a quick look the vet suggested the symptoms pointed to a UTI (urinary tract infection) and that a urine test would quickly confirm. She went on to say if that didn’t provide an indication, blood tests and x-rays could also be done to help identify the problem. “So, let’s get some urine from her, and would you like to get some x-rays and blood tests as well?”

Are you fuggin’ kidding me? Did you not just say the urine test should point out the problem? Do I have a sign on my head that says “Idiot, slack jawed yokel, dumb-ass with no brain”; because I’m not slack jawed. This is just plain evil, that at a time when a pet owner is willing to do everything they can to ensure the health and safety of their pet, a veterinarian starts throwing costly tests at you when she already has an accurate idea what the problem is, and knows that it is probable one simple test will confirm.

I could say I will never visit this particular doctor again because I am not akin to getting fugged by strangers; at least not without someone buying me dinner or a muffin first, but in an emergency situation there is little choice. Dr. BlackHeart certainly has not gained a new customer, er, I mean patient and when I return in 2 weeks to have Ella’s urine tested again, I will insist on using her regular doctor.

Part 2

Who doesn’t love a wedding? I know that business owners of wedding related goods and services do, as do event managements companies who understand that the word wedding means it’s not necessary to buy strangers dinner first. I have learned, after being involved with a few weddings that the word itself means pricing is subject to some magical, self-made tax unbeknownst to the buyer. Take for instance a normal everyday pen, perhaps you throw your business name on it as some advertising swag. Throw the bride and grooms name on it instead and it becomes a “wedding pen” which retails for twice as much for the EXACT same product. Anything and everything can be weddingized; napkins, toothpicks, toilet paper, you name it. Even rice comes sold as wedding rice. With that understanding, let’s get back to wedding shows. Wedding shows are also subject to this pricing scheme. Don’t get me wrong, wedding shows are great. They provide an opportunity to have all the businesses I need to plan a wedding under one roof; so what’s my problem?

My problem with wedding shows are those that feel they should charge admission. WHAT? I have to pay to talk to those who are going to gouge me in the first place? What kind of greedy ass shit is that? Do you host some exclusive secret businesses that offer normal pricing of goods and services that I must pay a  fee to gain access to? Hell no! Every company that I see at the free shows, generally will be at the paid shows. I don’t like to assume, but it would make sense that if I have to pay at the door, companies are going to pay a  premium to attend and some may decide against it. You can safely assume that I will not be going to any paid show.

I hope I have helped open your eyes today; there are a lot of con artists and shysters out there and if I can help just one person I have done my job. If you don’t take heed to my warning and get burned, then I have no other recourse then to laugh and shake my head at you as I try to grasp what path of illogical thinking you have taken after I clearly pointed out to you how some of these folks operate.

Super long weekend needed,



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