Underwear Etiquette

Today’s message addresses when underwear must be changed. Exemptions to this rule exist for those at Hunt Camp’s, Fishing Trips, and for those who are bed-ridden due to colds / sickness above the waist.

Changing of underwear can be easily determined by following this simple rule; once your under garments have been removed past both ankles, they must be promptly replaced. For those requiring a picture in the mind’s eye imagine a basketballer dribbling down the court and stopping. He can only pivot on one foot lest he be called for traveling. Same thing, underwear can be kept on one ankle and still be legally worn but once it comes off fully… “tweet” Free throw to the hamper!

Once your underthings have come off and put back on, they have received the taint. Even if put on backwards, and removed to realign them with the front, they need be replaced. There is no simplifying it anymore, and no need to complicate.

You may ask about doctors visits, well, put it this way; if you have to take off your underwhooises at the doctor it is likely in part to some form of violation and would require not only new briefs but a shower. I don’t remember having to ever take my boxers off because of an ear ache.

My suggestion is to keep extra poonsalalies on hand should the need arise, there is no harm in replacing your biscuit holders 2, 3, 8 times a day. If you get into an accident of some sort, the last thing you want is old Johnny Skidmarks to be in the ER with you.




  1. This was spawned out of common sense and the need to always have my package wrapped in clean sheets. That, and my OCD. I have always followed these guidelines and on the weekend after changing to go swimming, removing underwear I only wore for 10 minutes (and did not fart in) I decided that this was a topic needing be shared.

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