Mother Nature is Racist!

There, I said it! We all knew it and it feels liberating to say out loud what we all shared with awkward glances. It doesn’t sound very motherly to hate Gingers, what with our decorative freckles and our bushes of fire.

Huh? Wha? But… but nothing! The weather forecast for this Thursday (July 21, 2011) is at a scorching 45 degrees with humidex. You know how hot that is? It’s hot enough for cows to cook to a medium roast just standing in the direct sun. Chickens will actually lay hard boiled eggs. People living in the African desert would take one step outside and say “no mum hum hum click click pop” which translated is “Screw this shit, I’m going back to Africa where it’s cold”.

She is clearly trying to burn us out. Perhaps she is trying to send a message that we were never to leave Scotland / Ireland. Note: Scotland now tops the population with 13% Ginger. (http://www.purgatory.net/kornelia/1603/red_hair_facts.htm). We Gingers try to avoid England when at all possible, but then again, who wouldn’t.

Returning “home” is actually not a bad idea. I have been to Scotland and have the desire/need to go back. I would live there in a heart beat, even if it meant my mother-in-law was in tow. BUT, if I return it will be on my terms. I will not have someone forcing me to go back.

In closing, I ask you, if you see a Ginger outside this Thursday cooking like a big upside down human carrot; bring him or her inside. Let them baste in the air conditioning. Maybe fetch them a popscicle of some sort, some of us are fond of banana, or chocolate.

Cheers,

Scott

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